We are special parents too. Just like some of you, my husband Frankie and I have had our challenges in handling our second son who was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Dyslexia when he was 6 years old. He was also subsequently diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at age 10.
We believe that building our marriage on mutual understanding and making effort in communicating honestly has helped us cope as special parents. Despite differences in opinions and parenting styles, we make time to talk through things often. We share our own feelings and struggles regarding the situation, while we work at improving things together. Being united as a couple and helping the family synergize together to meet each other’s needs helps us overcome the challenges and demands of special parenting.
Parents are indeed the best people to help create the environment for our special children to thrive. It’s important also for parents to find ways to connect with other parents who are going through a similar journey. The natural affinity borne through the familiarity of similar family struggles and experiences creates a positive identification that helps you feel less alone in your journey.
In special families, it often becomes necessary that one parent stays home to help manage the special needs child and the home. Many families have found that the financial sacrifices are small in comparison to having one parent more present to manage the home full time.
In our case, we are glad that we chose for me to be a stay-home mum to all our 3 children even before our second child’s special needs was diagnosed. This helped us attend to the issues and be the main caregivers from day one. Our children have also come to appreciate this and know that we prioritise them above our own careers.
Special parenting is a transformational journey for us as parents. We need to constantly learn, re-learn, strategise and be creative in problem solving. Flexibility and humility are also so important. When you think of it with a growth mindset, you can find the gems in the journey and appreciate the learning that it brings to the whole family.
About Dr Frankie Tan and Tina Tan
Frankie and Tina are parents of 3 boys. Their second son has ADHD, Dyslexia and ASD, and their youngest son is also currently struggling with severe anxiety issues. Tina is a stay-home mum while Frankie holds a Ph.D. in Sport Science & Physiology and works at the Singapore Sport Institute. Both are active volunteers with various community groups like SPARK, Schools, SAFRA, Dads for Life, and in their church. Being active volunteers have truly enriched their lives as they reach out and support other families in similar situations as them.
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On 17 April 2025, CaringSG hosted a deeply meaningful Self-Care Workshop facilitated by Julia Chan—caregiver, certified mental wellness coach, and author of The Healing Journal: A Caregiver’s Path to Self-Care. With a nurturing approach shaped by her own lived experiences, Julia guided participants through practical tools to better care for themselves while supporting their loved ones.
A big part of the joy in caregiving for children comes from being made to see things from a fresh child-like perspective. Teaching autistic children requires one to go beyond that. Often, one has to tap on that perspective and the child’s interest to engage them in learning about our neurotypical world. This is the story of Eliz’s creative teaching journey inspired by her fostered child, Eugene.
A big part of the joy in caregiving for children comes from being made to see things from a fresh child-like perspective. Teaching autistic children requires one to go beyond that. Often, one has to tap on that perspective and the child’s interest to engage them in learning about our neurotypical world. This is the story of Eliz’s creative teaching journey inspired by her fostered child, Eugene.
A big part of the joy in caregiving for children comes from being made to see things from a fresh child-like perspective. Teaching autistic children requires one to go beyond that. Often, one has to tap on that perspective and the child’s interest to engage them in learning about our neurotypical world. This is the story of Eliz’s creative teaching journey inspired by her fostered child, Eugene.
I am sitting down to write this six days after I met Wendy, Mummy to an autistic daughter, over lunch. Looking at the notes I scribbled from our chat, the few words that popped up in my mind? ‘My learning journey’. This is Wendy’s learning journey as a caregiver.
When Carrie first heard her son’s autism diagnosis at age three, she was overwhelmed with questions and uncertainty. But through determination, early intervention, and unwavering support from her husband, she found a path forward—guided, unexpectedly, by her son Ethan’s deep love for trains. From Thomas & Friends to trainspotting in Switzerland, this is a heartfelt story of a family’s journey, resilience, and the power of embracing a child’s special interests.
